things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
