You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
