Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
