Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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