We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
