just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
