He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
