Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
