The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
