I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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