hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
