Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
