Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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