What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
