I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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