You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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