the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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