Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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