They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
