i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
