This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
