You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
