Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
