kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
