this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
being pregnant is like rehab
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
