he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
