best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
