The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
