he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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