she was so not down for the gang bang
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
