Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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