at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My nipple is on Facebook.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
