Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
