Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
