I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
