Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
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