Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So much rum. So many feels.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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