Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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