So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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