I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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