At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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