thus making me awesome and them whores
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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