Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
