The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Randomize
