I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
