i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
