lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
