OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
