They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
