i'm signing you up for texting rehab
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
