There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
