Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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